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Jon Hamm needs to stop dressing like a total slut.

Let’s be real for a second. Wearing a clingy, form-fitting pair of slacks gives the impression that a man is DTBP (Down To Be Photographed). If Jon Hamm didn’t want this type of attention, he shouldn’t have put so much focus on his body by dressing like that. If you didn’t want everyone to stare at your hog, maybe you should have thought of that earlier and donned some more modest apparel. Next time you go out, try not wearing pants like a whore. Maybe consider a loose, flowing kimono or a pair of MC Hammer-style genie pants. They may be less comfortable for you to wear, but they’ll certainly give the rest of us a break from your shameless penis-peddling.

As a famous person/role model, Jon Hamm needs to be conscious of how he presents himself in the public eye. There are thousands of young men across the country who look up to him. Maybe this kind of salacious pants-wearing fashion is fine for an adult, but what about the children? Do we really want America’s boys parading their dongs around like some kind of back-alley Chinatown meat market? I for one do not.

Look, I’m not trying to police Jon Hamm’s body. I’m just looking out for his safety. When the media sees the rippling curve of a man’s body, it can’t help itself. On the street, magazines and websites will inevitably holler out things like: “Do those legs go all the way up to your penis?” and “Can I get a side of fries with that penis?” That’s not out of line. It’s just how a press outlet shows that it’s interested.

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